


New Scars

by qrowrito



Series: Scars [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Depression, F/F, I am shipping trash sorry, Self-Harm, but still fluff, huge freaking trigger warning, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-18 17:15:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5936446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qrowrito/pseuds/qrowrito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot messed up again. Set after Log Date 7 15 2 but doesn't follow canon too much. In this AU, gemlings are a thing and Peridot is Jasper's daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Fixed some grammar and changed blood color to blue

Peridot was back at the Galaxy Warp. Back where they had found her. Back with the bad memories. But this time, new events had been added. Peridot thought back to a few days ago. She had called her superior a clod. How could this have happened? Peridot had been so loyal. She looked down at her arms and thought back to what they used to look like. The vivid memories of adding scars to what she had called her "collection".

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to add to the collection again. Oh, wait it would!" Peridot tried to laugh at her own terrible joke and couldn't. 

Looking around, the gem spotted a familiar piece of stone. Pale blue blood was dried on it. Her blood. Peridot picked the up the stone. She remembered the feeling from before. It was the same weight that she remembered. 

Sitting back against the remains of the Homeworld warp, Peridot prepared herself for the familiar pain. She reminded herself how much she deserved this. Slice. That was for taking the communicator. Slice. That was for lying about it. Slice. That was for throwing the truck at Steven. Slice. That was for using the communicator. Slice. that was for calling Yellow Diamond a clod. Slice. That was for not being able to fuse.

Peridot studied the fresh cuts. Perfect. This was what she was supposed to be. A nothing. The familiar sting was almost nice. Something that she could relate to now. The gem smiled at her own stupidity. 

"I... I need to hide this. But how?" Peridot said out loud, though there was no one to hear her. She didn't want Steven to question new cuts. She didn't want anyone to make her stop. She deserved this. A change of style wouldn't be too bad would it?

Peridot frowned down at her bodysuit. She phased it off and looked at her naked body. It looked stupid. Peridot decided not to focus on that and formed a plain green cloth around herself. She kept the form of her old suit, but this time made the sleeves long. She added the darker shoulder straps back on but instead of forming a diamond, they formed a five pointed, yellow star, similar to the one on Pearl's top. The same star was added to her knees. Peridot decided that she liked the rest of her old suit and added it. She turned to look at herself in the floor.

Mostly satisfied with her new look, Peridot walked away and warped back home. The other gems were sitting on the couch, playing what Steven had called a board game. They looked up as Peridot warped in and all of them gasped. 

Pearl was the first to say anything, "Wow Peridot! I like it!"

Amethyst grinned at her friend and yelled "Lookin' good Peri!" Peridot gave the purple gem a half-hearted smile. 

Steven jumped up and hugged Peridot. He began talking about how good she looked and how this was amazing and... Peridot kind of lost him after that. She looked over at the couch to see Garnet's reaction. The fusion simply grinned and gave her comrade a thumbs up. This was going to be a hard secret to keep.


	2. Release

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: fixed spacing.

Peridot was at the Galaxy Warp again. The other gems had figured out that she liked to spend time there to calm down. Missions were often stressful and Peridot usually needed time to unwind. The others respected that and Peridot was grateful for their understanding and lack of questioning. If they ever asked, Peridot gave the excuse that she liked time alone. In reality, what the green gem wanted was to punish herself for her mistakes. It was becoming a ritual.  
Fresh blood currently seeped from fresh wounds on Peridot's already scarred arms. Today, Peridot had been too much of a coward to admit her feelings for her new "barn mate", as Steven dubbed her new friend and teammate. Lapis was so pretty.  
"She'll never want a gem like me. Not someone who does this," Peridot mumbled. She quickly grabbed the towel that she had hidden and wiped her arms off. She knew it was wrong.  
Peridot mentally prepared herself to go back and face the gems that would never trust her again if they knew. She began to cry and sat back down. She figured Garnet already knew about this and wasn't saying anything. Or maybe Garnet was preparing an intervention for her. Who knew with that gem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty short this time around, sorry. Things will get longer soon!


	3. Reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: fixed spacing

Peridot knew Steven was getting suspicious but she had no idea he would follow her into the warp stream. The young boy had hidden while she sliced open her own arms and now he was crying and clinging to her. Peridot was unsure of what to do with this. She wanted to keep it a secret. Steven would never let her do that. He sobbed into the gem's shoulder, making her cry a bit more. The boy was practically wailing.  
Suddenly, Steven got up and grabbed Peridot by the hand. Realizing what he was doing, Peridot phased her clothes back on as she was dragged. Steven pulled her all the way to the warp pad and activated it. Peridot looked down and realized that her blood was soaking through her sleeves. She really didn't care anymore. This only made her cry again.  
Peridot began to wonder what the other Crystal gems would do to her. She was about to find out. The two touched down on the temple warp pad and Peridot noticed that the gems were all staring expectantly at them. Jasper's curious gaze made the tiny gem feel even smaller. Garnet and Lapis seemed to immediately notice the blood soaked sleeves, as they rose from their places and approached Peridot.  
The green gem shrank away from the two. They would hurt her for this. Garnet reached her first, despite Peridot's best efforts to get away. The fusion reached down and picked her friend up. Peridot knew she couldn't struggle so she snuggled into Garnet's warm embrace, burying her face in Garnet's shoulder. The fusion stepped into the temple and jerked her head. Peridot assumed that she was motioning to Lapis. The three entered the temple and the door shut behind them.  
Garnet almost immediately set Peridot on her feet. The small gem couldn't stand up anymore. It was too exhausting. Lapis caught her, gently pulling her barn mate in to a hug. Peridot didn't struggle. Lapis planted a gentle kiss on Peridot's gem. The receiver shivered at the feeling. She couldn't hide the blush.  
Lapis smiled down at her. "We'll help you through this Peri. I promise, my little barn mate." Peridot found it impossible to hold back her tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still pretty short, but I'm happy with it. Lapis will have more of a part toward the end, hence the shipping tag. Thanks for reading!


	4. Mother, or Jasper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: fixed spacing

Jasper was curious. Why wouldn't she be? Peridot wondered if her carrier even knew what the scars were from. The older gem may not have seen something like this in her life. Peridot gained the courage to look up and saw that Jasper was staring at her now bared arms. The other gem had tears in her yellow eyes. She knew what Peridot had done. This was worse than Peridot had expected. Jasper was surely going to hurt her for this. She probably deserved it.  
Jasper reached out and took Peridot's arm more gently than would be expected of a gem her size. Peridot marveled again at how soft the warrior's hands were. She figured that it was because of a regeneration. The giant quartz picked up her tiny daughter and held her close. It took a moment for Peridot to register the wetness that was falling on her. The green gem had very faint memories of Jasper crying when she was tiny so this was the first time she really saw it.  
Jasper always went all out on everything. The orange gem could be overwhelming at times she was so intense. Crying seemed to be no exception. Jasper clutched her only surviving daughter and sobbed. Tears formed in Peridot's eyes at the thought of hurting her mother so much. Ever since the two had found out about Homeworld's lies they had felt affection for each other. Peridot had no idea Jasper cared this much.  
The big gem broke the silence between the two, "How could you do this to yourself Peri? It breaks my heart that you hate yourself this much. I wish you would talk to me like other gemlings. DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT ME?" Jasper's voice rose as she spoke but Peridot knew that her mother wasn't angry, just hurt.  
Peridot didn't reply, just pressed her face into Jasper's chest. She enjoyed the warmth that came from the other gem.  
It took a while, but the tiny gem finally got up the energy to speak. When she did, her voice was rough as if she hadn't used it in a while, "I... I do care about you Jasper, it's just-" Peridot broke off and began to cry again. Jasper held her closer.  
"You probably want to stay here a while, huh?" Was Jasper's only reply. Peridot nodded.  
The two sat there for an indefinite amount of time before Peridot spoke again. She let everything out, telling Jasper about how much she messed up. It took a long time to get everything out but Peridot felt much better after. All the while Jasper stroked her back, silent.  
Jasper spoke when Peridot finished, "Ya know, you could have done this a long time ago with someone else and all of this would have been a lot easier. You know we all love you, right?" Peridot nodded and the two stayed in their position for another hour before agreeing to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how well I wrote Jasper. I'm not very good at writing characters like her or Undyne! Please tell me how I did! Thanks again for reading!


	5. Comfort, or Steven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: fixed spacing and a technical issue

Steven sat on the couch. Peridot wished she could know what he was thinking. He didn't look like his normally happy self. He looked tired. Almost as if he didn't get any sleep.  
Peridot decided to ask. What harm could it do? "Are you ok Steven?" No answer. She asked again and this time the boy's head popped up.  
He stared at her for a moment before replying. "Oh, yeah I'm just DOG tired! Ha ha ha..." His laughter trailed off. Peridot forced a chuckle for his sake. She had to think of something to do for him. She couldn't believe that Steven had had to see her in such a state twice. He had trusted her.  
The gem rose from the couch where she was sitting. "Do you want to go out?" She asked cautiously. Anything could set him off crying again and Peridot didn't want that. He was already stressed enough from the Cluster. Surprisingly, Steven nodded.  
The two left the beach house and headed for the boardwalk. Peridot marveled again at the sights of the human town. The buildings were so primitive com- Peridot stopped that thought in its tracks. She didn't want to think about it. Steven subconsciously grabbed Peridot's hand and led her to the baked food shop. The Big Donut, she remembered him calling it.  
They stepped inside and the donut girl greeted them. Steven had said that her name was Sadie. Steven stepped up to the counter and, after a short interaction that Peridot payed no attention to, Steven had a two donuts in his hands. He led his friend over to a table and they sat in silence. Steven offered Peridot one of the donuts which she politely declined. More silence.  
Finally, Peridot can't take it anymore. "Why are you so quiet? I'm sorry, ok! I shouldn't have been doing that and I was wrong and I should have come to you for help and AND I THINK I WAS JUST EMBARRASSED BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE AND IM SCARED OF MYSELF AND I HATE IT!"  
It was then that Peridot noticed Sadie staring at her, looking surprised. Peridot was pretty sure her whole face turned bright blue at that point. Steven pulled Peridot back down and turned to her. He looked like he was about to cry.  
"Oh, Peridot. I... I had no idea you felt so bad. I guess I'm just sad because you are. I mean, I saved you from hurting yourself in the first place. I though you would be ok. I didn't know till Lapis told me that it takes a long time to get better after something like that. I guess she would be right too, since she, you know...” Steven trailed off after that, apparently done talking.  
Peridot stretched her arm out and looked at the fabric of her shirt. She turned her hand over and pulled the sleeve up, repeating the process on the other arm. She set her hands down, revealing the scars that marked her arms. All past mistakes. Steven stared at the skin. Slowly, the boy licked his hand and planted it on her skin. Peridot shivered but didn't resist. The scars were gone. Steven repeated the process on the other arm.  
Something dinged on Steven's cell phone and he stood up. "That's Connie. She wanted to go to the arcade today! See you later Peridot!" Steven waved as he left the business. Peridot watched him leave. She smiled down at her arms and pulled her sleeves back down. She would keep them. She rather liked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone so much for reading and for leaving kudos! That means so much to me. I hope you like the chapter, I hope to get more out by the end of the night.


	6. Words, or Sadie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: fixed spacing

Peridot guessed that Sadie would come talk to her. She looked up from her arms at the sight of the donut girl. Sadie sat across from the gem and smiled at her. The two sat in silence for a while simply watching each other. Peridot took note of a small scar on Sadie's cheek and wondered where it had come from.  
Sadie offered a donut and Peridot declined again. "I'm a gem," she mumbled, "I don't need to eat. Don't particularly like it either..." Peridot trailed off. She looked up to Sadie smiling at her.  
"That's fine, someone else will eat it. Uh... Are you ok? Do you... Need someone to talk to?" Sadie asked. Peridot shrugged in response, not sure what to say.  
At that moment, the tall donut boy waltzed into the shop. He shot a look at Peridot and Sadie sitting together. Peridot knew he knew what had happened with Steven.  
Sadie smiled, "Oh, hey Lars, how's it going?"  
"Not bad but you know, I don't just hurt myself for no reason!" Peridot frowned at the comment but said nothing. The other gems had warned her that others would make comments and told her not to let it get under her skin. That didn't mean it didn't hurt.  
Peridot looked over to see Sadie's reaction and found the human glaring at Lars. "That wasn't very nice Lars! She's sensitive about this!" Peridot was grateful for Sadie standing up for her.  
Lars simply laughed it off. He shrugged and pointed at Sadie. "Hey, at least you have a cool story behind your scar. All she's got is herself to blame! I mean, you've got a better life than half the world, why would you do that to yourself? It's just an attention seeking method and-"  
Sadie stood up, interrupting Lars. "You know that's really rude!" As Lars had been talking, tears had formed in Peridot's eyes and had started to stream down her face. His words really hurt and Peridot couldn't hide it anymore. Sadie continued, "Just look at her Lars! What you said really upset her!"  
Lars frowned. "Hey, it's cool man. I was just tryin to be funny! Don't get so worked up over nothing!"  
Peridot let out a choked sob and glared at him. "Well, I didn't find it very funny." She grumbled. Lars shrugged.  
Sadie took a step toward the young man. "I think you should go Lars," she said. "You're kinda being a jerk right now."  
Lars took a step back, defensive. "I didn't mean it!"  
Sadie took another step toward him. "I don't care! What you said really hurt Peridot and I think you should just leave. Get out Lars!" Sadie's voice rose and Lars backed away before turning and walking out. Peridot stared in shock at the girl. She hadn't expected Sadie to stand up for her like that.  
"Sorry about Lars, he can be a jerk sometimes," Sadie said, sitting down again.  
Peridot smiled at her new friend. "Thanks for standing up for me. I'm sorry I'm getting so upset... I'm... I'm being annoying aren't I. I'll just... Go now." Peridot mumbled.  
She stood up to leave but Sadie stopped her. "Hey, it's ok! Everyone has those moments. You can stay. Sometimes we all need to spend some time with another person. Or gem!" The two shared a laugh and began to talk about their lives.  
The conversation soon turned to Steven and they laughed at his antics. Both were able to tell stories about him. Soon, the conversation turned to crushes.  
"Yeah, Lars might be a jerk but, well, he's pretty nice when he tries! And he is kinda cute!" Sadie said quietly, obviously embarrassed.  
Peridot couldn't help but laugh. "There's this one gem, Lapis Lazuli. She's probably the prettiest gem I've ever seen. Stars, if I weren't such a coward I would talk to her about it haha!" It seemed to two had a more similarities than Peridot had expected. This could be the lasting friendship that Peridot would need. She smiled genuine smile for the first time in a while.  
"Thanks for this Sadie. I think I really needed it." Peridot mumbled.  
Sadie grinned and handed Peridot a piece of paper. "Here's my number! Call me if you ever want to talk about anything." Peridot grinned and took the paper. The two said their goodbyes and Peridot left the shop feeling happy with herself. She had made a new friend without anyone's help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, finally finished! That took longer than I expected because I had no idea how to write this dialogue. But it's finally here and I'm pretty happy with it so here you go! I'll try to get the next chapter up tomorrow.
> 
> Edit: Fixed some grammatical errors that I noticed!


	7. Garbage, or Amethyst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: fixed spacing

Peridot stepped back into the beach house from her time at The Big Donut. When she looked around, no one appeared to be home. Knowing full well that someone was supposed to be with her at all times, Peridot took this time to relax and sat down on the couch. She wouldn't cut. They would never trust her again if she did. She wondered if she would ever be able to trust herself. Peridot figured she would have to go find someone to save herself from inspection. Still, the thought of what she could do was tempting.  
The door to the temple opened after a few minutes and Amethyst stepped out. She grinned upon seeing Peridot and tromped her way over to the couch. The purple gem joined her friend, plopping down on the couch without a word. The two sat in silence for a while, Amethyst apparently having nothing to say.  
It didn't take long for Amethyst to tire of the silence. "Hey, you wanna try some food?" The gem asked. Peridot shook her head, wondering when everyone would stop bothering her about eating. She didn't say it aloud but she was pretty sure Amethyst could tell what she thought of the request.  
Amethyst grabbed a container out of the fridge and sat down to eat. The two gems made small talk about Steven and their latest mission as Amethyst gobbled down her food. Peridot found it rather revolting how the quartz got food all over her face.  
Amethyst quickly finished her meal with a burp. "Man, that sure hit the spot!"  
"Nothing made contact with you, what are you saying that it 'hit the spot'?" Peridot questioned.  
A laugh came from the other gem. "It's just an expression Peridot! Ha! I thought you'd know that one by now!" Peridot frowned.  
"Hey, after a good meal I always like to go in my room and lay on the floor and feel like garbage, y'know. It's a cool feeling an' junk. Ya wanna join me?" Amethyst said, still smiling.  
The notion of laying on the ground and feeling like garbage was interesting to Peridot. "Does it help one feel better?" She asked. Amethyst simply nodded.  
Peridot agreed to accompany Amethyst on her garbage feeling and the two went into Amethyst's room. Peridot had seen a bit of the interior but had never actually been inside. Junk was piled everywhere, in stacks so high Peridot was pretty sure they were going to fall.  
Amethyst flopped herself on the ground and Peridot joined her, staring up at the ceiling of the room. After about twenty seconds, Peridot wasn't counting, the room began to fade and a galaxy swam around them. Amethyst didn't move, so neither did Peridot. The strange galaxy swirled around them for hours before Amethyst sat up, Peridot following suit.  
They stood up together and Peridot felt a bit dizzy. She was close to falling when Amethyst stepped over and let Peridot lean on her shoulder. The two friends left the messy room and walked out to find that Steven had brought Connie home with him. The children were up in Steven's loft watching Crying Breakfast Friends. Amethyst and Peridot both sat on the couch without a word, Amethyst with nothing to say and Peridot being completely overwhelmed by all the laying down. This would take a while to get over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! Finally finished it! Took me a while because I was completely out of ideas. Anyway, thanks for reading and feel free to leave feedback!


	8. Individuality, or Pearl

The next morning, Peridot noticed Pearl sitting on the porch, alone. The green gem decided to investigate, and seeing that she was alone, she needed somebody to watch over her. Pearl would be perfect for the job. The white gem was always there to talk, even if Peridot was pretty sure she annoyed her comrade a bit.  
Peridot walked out the front door and sat next to Pearl. The other gem looked up in surprise, apparently not expecting Peridot to show up. The two watched the sun escalate in the sky, lost in their own thoughts. The minutes blurred by.  
Finally, Peridot got up the courage to ask the question that had been bothering her. "Do you really not know any other pearls from Homeworld?"  
Pearl sighed and seemed to ponder her answer before giving it. "Yes, Peridot, I knew other pearls. Pink, Orange, Coral. All sorts of us. I even knew pearls that looked like me."  
"Who owned you? Was it Rose Quartz?"  
Pearl laughed. "For the longest time, I was owned by White Diamond. Jasper was right, I am a bit defective. My gem is not completely round, like the others. When Pink Diamond was shattered, which I believe you should know about, Rose was part of her army. There had already been talk of her defecting and fighting for earth.  
"I was intrigued and wanted to join her. Only one gem stood in my way. Rose had 'owned' a pearl. She told me that she let the pearl do whatever she wanted. I believe her. When Rose and I left to protect the Earth, Pink Pearl disappeared. Some say she was corrupted but I don't think that is possible."  
Peridot took a while to think about what Pearl had just said. She knew how it felt to know that there were others like her, exact copies even, out there.  
"How do you keep an individuality then? I mean, I think you should understand me a bit. You, uh, probably remember me having to state my designation..." Peridot trailed off.  
Pearl smiled at her friend. "Rose made me forget that there were gems just like me. She made me feel like everything. I think we did that to you. I remember you forgetting to state your facet and cut."  
Peridot recalled almost forgetting she even had a designation. She smiled. Suddenly, she remembered something else important.  
"You know, I think I read a log somewhere about a Pink Pearl. Belonged to a Rose Quartz. The log said that she became corrupted into some sort of large animal and seemed to teleport away."  
Pearl stared at Peridot, seemingly shocked. Peridot wondered what she had said.  
"S-sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Sorry..."  
Pearl shook her head and assured Peridot that it was alright. The two sat for a while longer, watching the ocean and talking about identity. Peridot was suddenly sure in herself. Something had bloomed inside of her that she hadn't felt since she was adopted into the Crystal Gems. Individuality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a bit rushed. New electronics rule. Ran out of ideas and time haha. Thanks for reading. Also, if you find the Adventures in Odyssey reference, I love you!


	9. Dancing, or Garnet, Ruby, and Sapphire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Putting the notes here today for a reason. First thing, who can find the AIO reference?  
> Second, the songs. If you want to listen to them as you read, you can. I always enjoyed dancing to the Undertale soundtrack and it is great to write to! Anyway, here are the links if you want to listen while you read. The songs may not fit the time that it takes you to read the part obviously!  
> (1): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JlKHChbEcps (Oh! One True Love)  
> (2): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tz82xbLvK_k (Hopes and Dreams)  
> (3): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aWBtpBwzzdM (Battle Against A True Hero)  
> (4): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EBhFHJMVfiI (Undertale)  
> (5): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V8-7n4aG3ns (His Theme Extended. It's 15 minutes long, you don't have to listen to the whole thing.)  
> (6): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xflkF-sqNaM (Heartache)
> 
> This chapter is a lot longer than last night because I had a lot more time. In fact, this is the longest chapter yet! I tried to put my own spin on what fusing feels like and I hope I did a good job. Feedback is always appreciated! Thanks for reading!

Peridot sat on the couch again, thinking. She finally remembered that she was different from other peridots. She was a Crystal Gem. That was what made her special. That was what made her Peridot. And not just Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG. She was her own gem, a name, not a number!  
At that moment, Garnet left the temple, interrupting Peridot's thoughts. She watched the fusion walk up the stairs to where Steven was playing his video game. Garnet asked for his phone and he gave it up without question. Amazing. Peridot had heard Connie telling Steven that most kids wouldn't willingly give their phone to a guardian, whatever that meant.  
Garnet ambled down the stairs and walked outside. Peridot watched the fusion walk down the stairs to the beach and curiosity overcame her. She had to see what Garnet was going to do.  
Quietly, Peridot left the house a few moments behind Garnet. She watched the fusion tap on the phone for a moment before setting it in the sand. A song began to play. (1) Peridot watched as the fusion began to dance to the music.  
As the song ended, Garnet turned toward the porch and called over to Peridot. "I know you're watching me. You can join if you want." The way she said it, so calmly, made Peridot a bit nervous.  
Nonetheless, Peridot left the porch and stepped out onto the sand with her teammate. Garnet turned on the next song. (2) It had a catchy violin tune at the beginning that soon turned to what Peridot had learned were electric guitars. The two gems danced separately and yet with some form of togetherness. They had their own dancing styles. It was nice.  
Soon, they met in the middle of the beach, about halfway through the song. They danced, side by side, completely in sync despite their size differences. They paused, waiting for the next song, slightly out of breath but smiling at each other. The song (3) came on and Garnet began to move slower, Peridot following her movements. The song soon began to speed up and the gems movements followed the tempo perfectly. It was good and honest fun. The first fun Peridot had in a long time.  
Garnet slowed and Peridot realized what she was doing. The green gem reluctantly stepped up and took the lead, dancing to the piano. Garnet was now following her movements. The song seemed to be getting close to finishing and Peridot had a burning question in her mind, one that would do both of them good.  
As soon as the song finished, Peridot went and retrieved the phone. She stopped the music before the next song could come on.  
"Garnet, I have been thinking about it and-" she let out an unnecessary breath before continuing, "I want to try to fuse with you again."  
Garnet stood silent, mouth slightly open. Peridot thought immediately that she had done something wrong until Garnet slowly began to smile. She gently took the phone from Peridot and looked up a song. (4)  
The guitar started and Garnet took Peridot's hands. They slowly rocked together, taking things slowly. Peridot looked up at her friend and frowned, blushing. Garnet smiled down at her and put one had on Peridot's shoulder. They slowly stepped and twirled to the beautiful mix of piano and guitar. Their motions sped up a bit and they began to twirl. Peridot felt herself begin to dissolve and the two soon became one.  
The feeling was new and different but not unpleasant. Peridot could still feel herself but she could also feel Ruby and Sapphire and what she thought could be a little bit of Garnet. At the same time, as the music picked up and the new form kept dancing, watching the world around her from her five eyes, Peridot felt a new personality and identity in the back of her mind. She could feel Ruby and Sapphire, sharing this strange new mind with her. Together, they were Jade.  
Suddenly, Peridot found a wave of grief washing over her. The recent bad memories flooded into her mind and a pang of sadness hit their collective soul.  
The gems unfused and Peridot found herself sitting in the sand with Ruby and Sapphire on either side of her holding her. A new song began to play, looping. (5)  
The two gems held onto their friend and Peridot noticed tears starting to form in Ruby's eyes. The other gem seemed to notice Peridot watching her and she spoke, "I wish you had told us about how you felt. I bet that really sucked, having to go through that alone!"  
Peridot felt Sapphire nod on her other side. "We had no idea, not even with my future vision. I'm so sorry Peridot."  
Peridot began to cry as she realized that these two gems, whom she had never formally met, cared about her, even through their fusion. They now understood how she had felt.  
"We do, however, understand why you would hide your feelings like that." Sapphire said gently. The blue gem wiped away the tears on Peridot's face.  
Ruby nodded. "I would have hidden something like that but Sapphy would have gotten suspicious. She'd have yelled at me or something!"  
Peridot laughed and suddenly ducked as Sapphire took a swing at Ruby. "I would not have yelled at you! I would have done exactly as we are doing right now!"  
Ruby laughed and pushed Sapphire away. Peridot quickly scooted out from in between them as they began to roughhouse.  
Soon, the two gems had fused again and they were Garnet once more. A new song came on (6) and the two gems continued to dance until Steven came out asking for his phone back. The gems slowly made their way inside and Peridot soon realized that she had just fused for the first time and it felt nothing like she had ever thought. A idea came to her mind and she began to plot how to act it out.


	10. Aquamarine, or Lapis Lazuli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! The last chapter! I used a musical approach again. I think it works really well for fusion!  
> I'll be really focusing on Howdy next, so I can get another one done. I don't want to seem like I'm rushing these with daily updates, but I just really enjoy writing these!
> 
> Anyway, here are the songs. I decided to put them in a playlist form this time, for ease of listening. Here is the link to that: https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGfqVtf1NL_0hIWckfR05bPmwtBQj7o6f
> 
> Songs by title:  
> (1): Dating Start!  
> (2): Another Medium  
> (3): Home  
> (4): I Am Lapis Lazuli (I thought using that would be fitting for the characters!)  
> (5): Premonition  
> (6): Don't Give Up  
> (7): Waterfall  
> (8): It's Raining Somewhere Else.
> 
> So, yeah! Thank you everybody so much for the nice comments and kudos! They mean so much to me! Thanks for reading!
> 
> Also, yes, Steven is fighting Papyrus in the beginning. In case you wondered, which you probably didn't (you most likely guessed), Steven is playing a Pacifist Route.

Peridot finally had a plan. All she needed was Steven's phone. She hoped he would give it to her as easily as he had given it to Garnet. She walked up the stairs to where he was yet again playing a game. On screen, a small, blue heart was avoiding what looked like bones. A skeleton stood in a sassy pose while a rather catchy tune played.  
Steven easily relented and gave Peridot the phone. She plopped down on the couch and began to scroll through his music. She quietly played a few songs and quickly figured out how to make a new playlist. She added the songs and played through them one more time, just to make sure they were perfect. They were.  
Now to find Lapis. Peridot took a look outside and soon spotted Lapis out on the sand. The ocean gem seemed to be playing with something in front of her. She shook a bit, as if laughing. This would be the perfect moment.   
Peridot left the beach house and approached her friend. Lapis didn't seem to notice. It was then that water began to rise around the blue gem. It twirled around her and formed the shapes of the other gems. They danced around her and she soon turned around her blue eyes trained on Peridot. This was something unexpected. It seemed that Lapis had known she was there. Lapis smiled at her friend.  
"Sorry we haven't gotten to spend much time together Peridot. I guess we've both been a bit busy." Lapis said, still staring with those beautiful eyes of hers.  
Peridot nodded and laughed, "Yeah, I've been spending a lot of time talking to the others. They've helped a lot! Uh..."  
Lapis laughed that sweet, melodic laugh of hers. It was rarely heard, so Peridot made sure to treasure it.  
"Uh, I, uh, got a few songs that I thought you would like. It's... Like a gift but in music form hahaha..." Peridot figured she couldn't get more awkward. Fortunately, a Lapis took this all in stride, smiling sweetly, another rare sight, and Peridot wondered why the other gem was smiling so much.  
The two sat down on the sand together and Peridot started the playlist. The first song (1) was happy, and in Peridot's opinion, rather romantic, in a way. Lapis listened in silence. She song continued to play, it's beat making the blue gem tap her fingers on the ground.   
Lapis stood up, pulling Peridot with her. The gems began to dance as the next song started. (2) It's mysterious sound pulled them in.   
Lapis spoke for the first time since the songs began, "These are very nice songs."  
Peridot blushed as she noticed the slightly darker tone in Lapis' cheeks. "I've been thinking and... I'm going to be very forward with you." Lapis said softly. Peridot nodded, apprehensive.   
"I think you're very cute. In THAT way."  
Lapis noticed Peridot become flustered and let her go, beginning to dance on her own. The playlist started to buffer, much to Peridot's dismay. She felt the tears start to form. She couldn't help it. This had gone all wrong.   
Peridot began to cry, watching another failure unfold, Lapis stood, unmoving, watching. Peridot sank down onto the sand with a sigh, wondering if Lapis really liked her or if she was just saying it.  
Peridot didn't notice Lapis coming over until she was pulled up and the next song finally began to play. (3) The guitar helped to calm the overwhelmed gem and Lapis separated them again. Peridot's movements were clumsy, but Lapis, Lapis was as smooth as the ocean she represented.   
The blue gem danced just as her water dolls had, smooth and graceful. The music and lighting just seemed to add to her beauty and Peridot couldn't help but stop and stare.   
The song soon came to an end and Peridot began to dance again as the next one started. (4) Lapis stopped watching her. Peridot's movements followed the wild music well. She stopped as a piano and violins started in the song and Lapis began to dance with them. The drums and techno beat started up again and Peridot finished the song out. It was short but felt very good.   
Peridot and Lapis approached one another as the next song started. (5) It's quiet piano moved the two gems and Peridot got up the nerve to ask what she wanted to.  
"Lapis, I know you probably won't want to, but please, hear me out." Lapis nodded and stayed silent.  
"I want you to fuse with me."   
Lapis looked shocked. Her expression soon changed and she looked almost fearful. Peridot knew without future vision what she needed to say as they waited for the next song, still slowly swaying.   
"Do you trust me?" Lapis seemed to think about her answer before simply nodding, obviously trying not to cry. Her last fusion had been rather stressful and scary. The ocean gem smiled nervously and the music finally stopped buffering. (6) They started to move a bit faster and were soon fusing, just as the song picked up.   
The new fusion stood for a moment and they felt each other's emotions. Peridot felt Lapis' nervousness. The fusion bent down and picked up Steven's phone with one of her four arms and began to walk, neither component caring where. Peridot let herself be open with Lapis, but still hid one thing. They made it to the top of the hill before stopping. Rain began to fall from the already cloudy sky. The fusion stood for a moment and Peridot let the bad memories come back slowly. Lapis experienced each one as a new song started, (7) seeing how Peridot had felt.   
The fusion, Aquamarine, as both of them felt, stood silent longer. Letting the music wash over her. The rain still came down, soaking Aquamarine to the bone. The two components shared memories and feelings now. They knew. Peridot knew what Malachite felt. This was most definitely different.   
The two gems unfused and sat down at the cliff's edge as the final song started. (8) The tune fit the mood perfectly. They sat in a silent understanding, contemplating what they now knew about each other. Peridot felt Lapis' eyes on her and turned to look. Lapis smiled again. She had been doing that a lot more recently.  
"You, uh, have a nice smile Lapis."  
A laugh.   
"You've got a nice laugh too."  
Lapis leaned into Peridot. "Thank you. I think your smile is very nice too."  
There was a pause as the final song ended.  
"So what does this make us?" Lapis asked.  
Peridot shrugged. "I think Sadie called it 'girlfriends'. She'll be pretty excited to hear about this."  
Lapis laughed again. "I think Garnet, Steven, and Jasper will be too."  
The paused again before Lapis spoke. "Thank you barn mate.  
"You're welcome. I... I love you."  
"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Unasked for sequel to Scars! I have two happier fics in the works for you but have a mostly sad thing again. This will be multi chapter, but most of the chapters are going to be pretty short. I have a lot written already so this may finish up really fast! Thanks for reading!


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